


C.A.U.G.H.T.

by niphelle



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, F/M, Identity Reveal, Inspired by FRIENDS, Post-Canon, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Smut, and something that isn't quite plot but it's damn close if i say so myself, but it now has fluff, i basically made a miraculous version, it still kind of is, it was supposed to be a crack fic, remember when they found out about chandler and monica
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-26 14:22:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17143388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niphelle/pseuds/niphelle
Summary: Inspired by F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Adrien and Marinette learn that hiding their identities from certain people and their relationship from everyone is not as easy as it seems.





	1. The One that Sets the Scene

Adrien woke up to a faint tingle against his cheek and immediately smiled at the familiar sensation. He needn't open his jade eyes to recognize the silky dark hair that had just brushed against his skin, the sweetest scent of cookies and croissants reaching his nose as she breathed softly above him, the slightly louder background noise of France's capital bustling even in the middle of the night, in the wake of her opening his window to sneak in. "Did I wake up or did I just start dreaming?" he mumbled sloppily, still groggy from his interrupted rest, but coherent enough in his movements that his lady's quiet snort was lost between his lips as he pulled her in. She giggled against his mouth, losing this battle, and kissed him back just as eagerly - soft, slow and adoring, lacking any raucous intention for now. Not that Adrien minded - he was quick to wake, but the same could not be said about all his body parts - however, he could feel her exhaustion in the way she kissed him and barely balanced her body on top of his.

 

His hand making its way to the small of her costumed back, he gently turned her on her side, finally opening his eyes to look at her as her head unceremoniously plopped against the pillows, despite his attentiveness. Ladybug looked as beautiful as always, blue eyes shining in the moonlight and longer hair cascading down her shoulder and into the scarce space between them. Despite her undisputable magnificence, she had definitely looked livelier a few hours ago, when he had last seen her. "Eventful patrol tonight, Buginette?" He raised an eyebrow, his favorite nickname for her slipping from his lips like a taste of candy; after finding out who she really was beneath the mask on that fateful night in London, Adrien felt that one of his greatest achievements in his life was coming up with that particular nickname, which beautifully blended the two sides of his favorite person in the world. And he'd come up with it before knowing that it did. Oh, how he had laughed when he realized the reason behind his lovebug always freezing, glaring at him and brushing him off heatedly whenever he called her that in battle.

 

True to her character and perhaps mirroring his own train of thought, Ladybug rolled her eyes with a soft smile. She snuggled into him, burying her head in the crook of his neck and sighing contently at his involuntary purr. She found it comforting, apparently.

 

"There was a bomb alert downtown. You'll see it on the news in the morning," Ladybug muttered. Adrien's hold on her immediately tightened - they both hated that particular subject equally, but he knew how it could take its toll on her, emotionally. "Was it for real?" he inquired softly. The lack of response was all the answer he needed. "You should have called me, my lady."

 

At his reprimanding tone, Ladybug heaved out a long breath. "We got there in time. It was deactivated and those who needed to be restrained were restrained. There were no victims. That's my job and that's where my job ends," she said, reciting what they had agreed upon together the first time they were caught up in something of that nature. They were to aid the authorities and protect as many people as they could, no more and no less.

 

"You did a great job. I'm proud of you. Still call me next time, Stubborn-ette," Adrien kissed the top of her head while his fingers slowly found their way into her hair. He was overcome with the urge to squeeze his partner in the tightest embrace known to mankind when, instead of snorting at his admittedly horrible pun, she uttered a quiet 'okay', but he refrained. She could take it, but he didn't want to hurt her anyhow. The both of them had, quite honestly, believed that their lives as superheroes would be over once Hawkmoth was defeated - he was the reason why they became Ladybug and Chat Noir in the first place, and without a magical threat, there would be no need for magical solutions. So they thought. However, after the extremely difficult task of battling and defeating his own father without screaming at the top of his lungs that he was his son, that he wanted his mother back too but even he could understand she would have never wished for things to turn out the way they did, Adrien had had to make another difficult decision. Paris had been more open to the idea that Hawkmoth was no other than famous designer Gabriel Agreste, heartbroken husband who had turned to black magic in the hope that he might undo a tragedy, but now deeply and truthfully sought redemption, than to the notion that Ladybug and Chat Noir, symbols of safety and security, might never soar among the Parisian buildings again. Public opinion knowingly and with very little backlash accepted Gabriel's plea to be allowed house arrest not in his own mansion, which was confiscated by the French authorities, but in a very highly guarded building, surveyed by the police and superheroes alike. Why? Because the team had vouched for him and admitted that Gabriel really was just a man with a broken heart who had lost his way, but could learn to find himself again.

 

The man known as the most dangerous criminal in modern French history was allowed relative freedom, because _they_ said he should be and, more importantly, because everyone knew they had defeated him. Numerous times and one decisive time. And they could do it again if needed. Ladybug, Chat Noir. Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee. They made not only Paris, but the entirety of France feel safe. The population could not even fathom them not being around anymore - the mere hint at the idea had caused a national uproar. So Master Fu had given them all a choice. They could give back their Miraculous despite what the entire world thought, say goodbye to their beloved kwamis and also condemn Gabriel Agreste to a lifetime in jail, bankruptcy and even more severe mental illness, since they would no longer be around to keep an eye on him. Or they could stick around and learn to tackle non-magical, but much more soul-shattering, traumatizing human violence and betrayal of all values they held dear, including life. They could keep living their double life, keep hiding their secret identities from the world, keep their precious kwamis, and grow. It had been an easy choice.

 

They all felt the consequences, but they were a team. And Chat Noir and Ladybug - they were much more than that. They could do anything as long as they were together.

 

"Dude, I'm off to the club- oh," Nino stopped dead in his tracks, instinctively moving to pull the door to his roommate's bedroom back closed. "Sorry, man, I didn't know you were sleeping. Thought you'd been out helping Ladybug." Adrien faked rubbing the nonexistent sleep from his eyes. "No problem, bro. Something happened?"

 

"Could have been some nasty shit. But you know, it's Ladybug," the DJ chuckled. Adrien let out a nervous laugh himself. "Yeah, probably why she didn't call me. Have a good one tonight, Nino."

 

"You know it! Sorry for waking you up, man, go back to your beauty sleep."

 

The door snapped shut and before Adrien could react in any way, Ladybug's brunette head popped out from underneath the covers. "Do you think he knew I was here?"

 

The twenty year old couldn't help it - he threw his head back and laughed louder than he should have, considering Nino probably hadn't even made half the distance towards their apartment exit yet. "Maybe on the day you ask that for the hundredth time, my love, some magic unknown to us will activate and he actually will know." Ladybug clicked her tongue and lightly smacked his arm. "Kitty!"

 

"I know, I know!" he breathed defensively, mirth still dancing in his green eyes. "But we are going to find ourselves stepping in the litterbox from time to time, Buginette. They're our roommates."

 

Their team dynamics were truthfully... quite the thing. The entire world, from Paris to Ibiza, knew that Queen Bee's real identity was Chloe Bourgeois, but she knew none of her teammates' real names. Rena Rouge and Carapace had figured each other out a long time ago - when they were fourteen, in fact - and after moving in together as roommates, it had really only been a matter of time for witty, inquisitive Alya to sniff out Marinette's identity and for loyal, compassionate Adrien to feel so bad about his horrible etiquette as a friend and as a roommate that he confessed to his best friend. Nino, however, didn't know that Marinette was Ladybug and Alya had no idea that Adrien was Chat Noir. None of them played with their secret identities (and even Chloe admitted that she wished she hadn't), so, engagement or not, neither Alya, nor Nino had ratted out their best friends' secret identities to each other. And even though fate had Alya and Marinette moving in the apartment right in front of Adrien and Nino's, the so-called cat and bug duo would have remained oblivious to each other's double life to this day. But Nino and Alya had decided that, now that Hawkmoth was defeated and they could all afford to leave Paris for a few days, they would celebrate their engagement in London.

 

And oh, so many things had happened in London.

 

So many wonderful, _wonderful_ things-

 

"You're thinking about _that_ again, aren't you." It wasn't a question, and despite the shadow of a blush dusting her cheeks, Ladybug's expression was not amused.

 

"How do you always catch me?" Adrien grinned sheepishly, not even bothering to try to deny it. She apparently couldn't resist his cuteness, and pecked his nose. "Well, one, you have one particularly dorky expression on your face whenever you think about it," Ladybug teased, mercilessly ignoring his pout. "And two, you did not hear a word I said earlier."

 

If he were transformed, his black leather ears would have fallen flat on his head guiltily. "What is it you said, purr-incess?" Adrien inquired, not even trying to excuse himself. She loved it anyways, no matter how much she talked nonsense to him when she caught him thinking about it. Ladybug flicked his forehead. "I said you should sleep, chaton. Your puns are worse than usual tonight."

 

But he was wide awake now, and any traces of sleepiness were replaced by a very powerful urge to play. He flipped them so he towered above her to convey as much, gazing down as her head bumped against the pillow, a growing smirk on his face. "Meowch," Adrien purred in his Chat Noir voice, which, according to a particularly disturbed Marinette, was apparently just Adrien Agreste's bedroom voice, used outside of the bedroom. "You hurt my peel-ings, Ladybug."

 

If she had found his whole one second of assertiveness sexy, the way she struggled not to laugh while lifting a delicate eyebrow proved it was for naught. "Peel-ings?"

 

"As in I want to peel this costume off of you."

 

"Get off."

 

"Okay, that _was_ kinda bad-"

 

"Adrien, I swear-" but she was already laughing, which gave him the possibility to grasp her wrists and pin them above her head, while peppering light, tickly kisses on her neck. He knew she was very ticklish and needed a much more firm touch to feel pleasure and not erupt in a fit, but her uncontrolled giggles and weak squirming were exactly what his civilian form needed to keep that powerhouse of a woman pinned down. Adrien then took her earlobe in his mouth and sucked, ignoring her surprised gasp and gliding his tongue upwards on the arch of her ear. "Tikki, spots off," he whispered almost tantalizingly.

 

"I-It won't work when you say it, you d-d-dork," Ladybug stammered. "A-And she'll kill you."

 

That was true, to an extent, but he believed he was on good enough terms with the god of creation that she would not quite resort to murder just yet. "Then you say it, Buginette," Adrien breathed, running his bare hand over her clothed waist, ribs, and cupping a perky breast; they had played that game the opposite way enough for him to know firsthand how nerve wracking it was to be touched in sensitive areas through that suit. "Let me play with you."

 

He had worked her up enough, it seemed, for the glare she gave him could have made his toes curl - not in fear, but anticipation. She dropped her transformation with a growl that instantly made him hard and, not before the kwami of good luck flew by his head and gave him a light smack, Marinette grabbed a fistful of his hair, wrapped her strong thighs around his torso and suddenly she was sitting on top of him. That was kinda cute and very, very hot, he mused, but Adrien's inner cat was in the mood for a different game. As much as Ladybug could swing Chat Noir over buildings if she pleased, Adrien could very easily grab, bend and position Marinette wherever, however and in any way he wanted. Practicing battle sports in his civilian life, compared to her otherwise sedentary hobbies, had turned out in his favor after all. She was beneath him again before she had time to yelp.

 

"Under the charges that you badmouthed the greatest pun designer in Paris," Adrien spoke as he popped the buttons on his girlfriend's work shirt one by one, her protests muffled by his index finger. "I am afraid to say that tonight, you are under Agreste."

 

Annoyance, amusement and arousal muddled together on Marinette's face as her partner's hands continued to work on exposing her body. Her own fingers fumbled in the darkness until they found what they were looking for, and she was rewarded by a hiss from her human cat. "What about my right to free speech?" she asked teasingly as their eyes met, not missing the way his pupils dilated at her continued ministrations. His whole body flexed and, though Marinette was learning his mannerisms better and better by the day, she only realised that it was a telltale sign that he was about to pounce when her whole world had already turned upside down, she was on her stomach with her rear propped high in the air and Adrien's fingers had found their way deep inside her folds. Marinette let out a strangled scream, only to be silenced by a second pair of digits entering her mouth. She gave in and sucked his fingers obediently while his other hand did wonderful things to her, offering a demonstration of what was to come.

 

"You have the right to remain silent," she heard Adrien's voice, hoarse from arousal, but her foggy brain understood the suggestion.

 

Right. They couldn't be loud, because they didn't want anyone to know they were together yet.


	2. The One With Adrien's Idea

It was still dark outside when Marinette was gently shaken awake. She was too deep asleep to differentiate between being woken by a human being and an alarm, so her finger reached out to swipe the snooze button out of habit.

Instead of letting her go back to sleep in peace, the imaginary phone chuckled and peppered kisses on her bare shoulders. "I don't necessarily mind you sticking your fingers up my nose, princess, but you did some very nasty things with them last night."

Reality began to seep through Marinette's sleep fog, and, combined with his words, prompted her to open her eyes wide, groan at being met with her lover's shit eating grin, and shove her head in the pillow. She covered her face with her hands at first, but then thought better and threw them back under the covers.

"Filthy cat," Marinette mumbled, blushing even harder as Adrien laughed. "You dish it but can't take it, m'lady?"

"No, you are just pure filth."

"I don't remember you complaining."

Marinette released a sound between a groan and a whimper, which basically confirmed exactly how _little_ she had seen fit to complain. She couldn’t see Adrien smirking like a self-satisfied Cheshire cat, but she felt it when he wrapped his arms around her naked body, dropping another kiss on the top of her head. Despite all that, Marinette's body instantly relaxed and she breathed in his lovely, unique scent, offering a kiss on his warm chest in return.

"I love you, but why did you wake me up?"

"I love you too, and I thought you might want to make your grand entrance before Alya wakes up and barges into my bedroom asking if I know anything about your whereabouts."

That particular mental image drove Marinette to immediately jump from her warm cocoon and fumble to find her clothes. Her hair, free from its usual pair of red elastics and reaching the middle of her back now, whipped beautifully as she turned to halfheartedly glare at him when she picked up her shirt – Adrien knew his girl could fix some buttons in less than five minutes, but that would require her going back to her apartment. Where Alya was.

"Okay, I _am_ sorry about that."

"Mhmm."

Halfway through unabashedly staring at his girlfriend getting dressed - because he now _could_ – Adrien remembered the second reason why he had woken up: he had a photo shoot scheduled before his university classes today. After they were both decently presentable and Adrien's bedroom no longer looked like a superheroine had broken through the window and had had freaky sex with him, the duo rushed outside, hurrying towards the apartment door and trying to steal a final kiss before parting ways.

Another door opened, however, to reveal a very sleepy and slightly hungover Nino, clad in a turtle-themed hoodie, green shorts and Spongebob socks. He blinked sleepily, only to be woken entirely by a harsh noise - which appeared to be Marinette crashing into the kitchen table while Adrien's arm suspiciously hovered in the air beside him.

"Marinette?" Nino questioned confusedly, rubbing his eyes just in case he was still too sleepy or too drunk to see properly. Marinette was still there, glaring daggers at Adrien, when he opened them again, so Nino decided he wasn't hallucinating.

"What time is it?" the DJ wondered aloud, walking towards the counter where he noticed Adrien had placed his phone. A phone which the blonde promptly shoved into the sink.

"Nine," Adrien replied with confidence.

Nino glanced at the window in the living room, then back at his best friend. "But it's still dark outside."

Adrien opened his mouth to reply. "Well-"

"-that's because you got so used to waking up at noon, Nino! This is what nine looks like!" Marinette pitched in, a wide smile plastered on her face despite the way she painfully rubbed her hip.

"Oh, cool," Nino muttered. "But what are you doing here?"

"Ah- y-yes, you see-"

"M-Marinette came here to give me a paw- _ow_!"

"I came to _help_ Adrien with um, with-"

"A costume! A-A suit! A-"

"A _tux_ that I'm, you know, designing-"

"For me!"

"For him! I mean, not for _him_ him, but for his thing! I MEAN, NOT HIS THING AS IN-"

"Photo shoot! Photo shoot!"

"YES! For his photo shoot!"

Maybe, if fully awake and sober, Nino would have found their exaggerated smiles downright creepy, Marinette's lack of buttons suggestive, and Adrien's twitching eyebrow very telling. As it was, however, Nino shrugged and switched trajectory towards the bathroom.

"Okay, dudes, I'll just go get ready then. Take a shower and watch the sun rise..."

The pair watched him go, and the second he closed the door behind him, a loud smack echoed in the room.

"You freaking pushed me!"

"I panicked!"

"No shit!"

A finger was pointed. "Okay, Lady Purr-fect, next time why don't you finish telling him what you wanted to do to` _my thing_ `?”

Marinette whined. "Alright, we're even, but keep your voice down or he'll hear us!"

Her partner rolled his eyes in exasperation and purposely stomped towards the bathroom, slammed the door open and gestured towards the splayed out form of Nino, sitting on the toilet fully dressed, his head lolled backwards with a toothbrush sticking out from his mouth. Marinette could hear his each and every snore.

"I'm getting tired of always having to sneak around, in and out of costume," Adrien complained as he escorted Marinette to her doorstep. She lifted an eyebrow. "You want to tell them?"

Her tone definitely implied that she didn't, but he still recognized her decency to ask. He thought about it for only a minute before breaking into shivers. "...Not yet, I guess."

The young brunette wrapped her arms around him and pecked him on the lips. "Look, I get it. I don't like it either. But hiding things from people has been part of our jobs for six years - we just need to be more careful."

Adrien returned her embrace with a sigh and allowed her to soothe him by gently caressing his upper back - right there, at five in the morning, in the hallway of an apartment building. He didn't realize he had begun to purr until Marinette lifted herself on her tiptoes to kiss him silent.

Their lips danced slowly, lovingly, and parted much too soon. "I love you, kitty," his lady confessed quietly, intending to finally turn away and step inside her home.

He should have let her, but right at that moment, Adrien was struck by the craziest idea.

Grabbing a hold of her arms, the blonde didn't even give her a chance to look surprised before pulling her back into his chest. "Let's go on a trip for a couple of days."

Marinette deadpanned. "What."

"Come on, my lady, it's genius! I'll say I have to do a shoot in another town, you can say you want to visit the countryside for some inspiration or something-"

"And Ladybug and Chat Noir? Adrien, we have patrol and your dad to look after, Nino and Alya will ask."

"Joint survey is on Thursday and we'll be back until then. Marinette, we'll watch movies and anime and we'll order pizza and we could even get room delivery - wait, no, that would be wrong because we're going to be naked the whole time," the model drifted off on ramble island, but his hopeful gaze when he looked down at her with his kitten eyes was her undoing.

"What do you say, my lady?"

Marinette wanted to at least look like she was considering his offer from a professional point of view, but she stood no chance as the widest smile broke out on her face in excitement; a whole 48 hours without a relationship and secret identities to hide from nosy friends, superhero duties and real life? She would never say it aloud, but her kitten was brilliant!

"Sounds like a whole lot of naked!" she squealed happily, and barely even processed his ramblings about which town Plagg had once said would be nice to visit and which hotel was the coziest and what time they'll be there tonight before he kissed her goodbye and ran off to get his day over with.

Marinette was left to enter her apartment alone, with the widest smile and a coil of anticipation and enthusiasm forming in her stomach.

That coil snapped when she came face to face with Alya.

"Well, well, look who decided to come home at ass o'clock in the morning after saving Paris _without me_ , with your hair all over the place and _why_ is your shirt ruined and _ohmygoddidyougetlaidandifyoudidwhatkindofmonsterwithbigdickenergy_ -"

In the face of the threat Alya currently posed, Marinette had to think of something good, and think of it fast.

"I'm drunk."

Alya stopped blabbering about penises, so Marinette decided to think positively and believe that _one_ good thing came out of what she had just said.

"You're... drunk," Alya repeated, both eyebrows raised to the middle of her forehead and hands landing on her hips. "Tikki, is that true?"

The red kwami emerged from her owner's purse. She had not really said anything since her bug and Plagg's kitten barely got any moments of privacy anyways, but right now she was put in a very unpleasant position: she had to either lie, or betray Ladybug's trust.

Tikki took one look at Alya, then glanced into Marinette's pleading eyes.

"She's wasted."

"Girl! What in the _hell_ -"

Marinette then decided to do what she did best and tripped on thin air. Alya darted forward to catch and stabilize her, and once again the inquiries thankfully stopped.

"Geez, Marinette, okay. Let's put you to bed, you crazy insect, but you have to tell me all about last night when you wake up."

Alarm bells rang in Marinette's head, and a few minions ran chaotically, screaming emergency.

"Can't, I have to pack."

"Pack?? Pack for what?"

The minions were crying.

"She made a reservation at a hotel in Orléans. Going tonight, coming back in two days."

Alya screeched so hard her own kwami whimpered in her pocket. "Is she mad?! She can't go alone!!"

"Oh, she has to. It was the only room left and she paid in advance. Single room too, they're out of space. And she would waste a lot of money if she didn't go. It will be a good way to learn responsibility, though," Tikki said, knowing fully well that if Marinette was going to learn anything on her little trip, it would not be anything remotely close to responsibility.

Tikki handled all of Alya's questions and created a believable story about a college party ending up being a little too much fun, while Marinette frankly didn't need to try too hard to pretend she was drunk and incapable of speech. Eventually she found herself in her bed, a bottle of water and a tray of junk food on her nightstand.

As her best friend left to her own devices, Marinette gave her kwami the most sheepish look - if the ancient god of creation had arms big enough to cross, she would probably only uncross them to give Marinette an old style whooping. It was the nth time Tikki not only put up with her shenanigans, but also saved her from impossible situations she got into all by herself, and the chosen Ladybug was at a loss of how to properly thank the magical being.

She shyly grabbed something from the tray of goodies Alya had left for her, and looked into her kwami's blue eyes with an uncertain smile. "Cookie?"

Tikki sighed. "Thought you wouldn't ask."

 

* * *

 

Adrien was on cloud nine. He didn't even care that he ended up being horribly late to his photo shoot and had had to listen to an entire lecture about how his father's misdoings had already tarnished his own reputation and he would have to work extra hard to compensate. For the first time too, his physics classes in university seemed absolutely boring and he was counting the seconds until he could go back to his lady, sweep her off her feet and drive her to a romantic setting, just for the two of them, where they didn't have to hide their love or identities from anyone.

"If I had big enough hands, I would give you a whooping like they used to back in the day," Plagg mumbled from his shirt pocket. The kwami had admittedly been given enough camembert to keep quiet about last night's events and to buy his silence during the brief intimate encounters Adrien had with his lady, but the god of destruction apparently disagreed with the notion that his chosen's idea was one of humanity's most brilliant. "The two of you don't know how to stop asking for trouble."

Adrien clicked his tongue and shifted so no one would see him talking to an unidentified creature in class. "Will you shush? What could possibly go wrong? We'll enjoy spending time together while we can, and it will get easier when we get back so we'll have less chances of getting caught."

The tiny cat deity decided that cackling would be an appropriate enough response.

Adrien rolled his eyes and got up from his seat, as the professor finally allowed their leave. He skipped his steps towards the subway - as one good thing that came with his father's arrest was that nobody monitored his every move anymore - but the model did have one more thing to do before finally taking care of his amorous escapade.

Visit his father.

That was always easier said than done, but Adrien was determined. All the therapists Gabriel was forced to interact with had stated that Adrien was one of the

most important pillars in his recovery, so the young man always scheduled at least two visits per week at his parent's residence. It had been incredibly difficult - heartbreaking - at first, especially considering his double life and his crucial role in bringing his father where he now was. It was awful to have to hear things about himself that stung, without Gabriel even knowing who he was really talking to, at any time they interacted.

It had hurt to watch his father slowly opening up to Adrien and still holding bitter resentment for Chat Noir.

But his father was sick, and he was getting better by the day. He had now accepted his faults for what had transpired, and he had even begun to treat the superheroes with more warmth and openness. Adrien had hope that, one day, Gabriel would make a full recovery and they could finally be a family again.

It was with that hope that he entered the highly secured house where the authorities were keeping him, and also Nathalie. She had already been offered the possibility to leave that place and finally return to her home, but she had repeatedly refused to leave Gabriel’s side and claimed she would only do so once he himself was released. Adrien didn't know exactly what the woman was to his father, but he had always been a better version of himself when she was around, despite her role in his villainous actions, and she had been nothing but kind to Adrien all his life. Therefore, he nodded his greetings at her and offered her a smile, which she never failed to return, before making his way towards the man he had come to see.

"Hello, Adrien."

"Hello, father."

Gabriel, looking nothing like his formerly poised, aloof and strict persona, was seated in an armchair, gazing outside the window where one could clearly distinguish the silhouettes of two armed bodyguards.

"I was waiting for you to come."

Adrien sat on the couch in front of him. "You know I always come to see you Tuesdays after school."

He could be wrong, but the ghost of a smile seemed to grace the man's features. "Thank you. For still wanting to stay in my life after everything that happened."

Adrien was slightly taken aback by those heartfelt words - they had managed to breach the barrier of many deep, painful subjects since his visits had started, but for Gabriel to say words like that so casually without therapeutic prodding was – unusual in the most wonderful way.

"Ladybug, Chat Noir, all the superheroes believe in you. I am your son - I should believe in you even if none of them do."

"You should, but you don't have to."

"You have come such a long way, father," the words flowed from Adrien's chest, the raw emotion in them startling even himself. "I know you might find it weird to hear it from your son, but I'm really proud of you!"

Gabriel finally turned to look at his son, perhaps realizing that those words were exactly what he subconsciously needed to hear - that he _was_ getting better, and that Adrien wouldn't give up on him.

"They're... talking about moving me to a normal residential building."

Adrien bit his lip. He knew that. He was the one who had suggested it to his team, as Chat Noir.

"Do you think... it would be safe?"

"What do you mean, father?"

Gabriel sighed. "Do you think they should give me that kind of trust? To just let me live around other people unsupervised?"

Adrien had to force back a smile. He would not be unsupervised in the slightest, but Gabriel had no way of knowing that. "Do you think you would be dangerous to other people?"

The man opened his mouth, stopped himself and appeared to fight a gruesome inner battle before sighing. "No. I do not."

Adrien clapped his hands together. "Then it's settled! Congratulations, dad," he exclaimed with a smile, neither of them oblivious to the shift between denominations.

The younger blonde thought they were going to fall back into one of their habitual awkward yet slightly comforting moments of silence, but his parent surprised him. "How have you been?"

At first, Adrien was at a loss. Wonderful? Amazing? In love? But then he would be asked why. He couldn't talk about Marinette, or God forbid, Ladybug yet. He couldn't tell his father that he had an entire mini vacation planned out for himself and the love of his life. But his father had gone through the mental effort to try to reconnect with him, to gear the conversation away from painful topics already discussed, and maybe retrieve some semblance of normalcy, and Adrien would be damned if he let his dad feel rejected in any way. So he smiled his widest smile and started rambling about work, university, Nino's shenanigans as a roommate, and pretty much everything that could be spoken about.

In the back of his mind, Adrien made a promise to both himself and his dad that they would be able to talk freely about everything soon enough.

Everything was okay.

 

* * *

 

_Nothing_ was okay.

Adrien's idea was a very, very bad idea.

Marinette much preferred dodging magical or manmade lethal projectiles than dodging her best friend's unrelenting questions. She had barely gotten through packing her things and thinking of a plausible excuse for how exactly she was going to get all the way to Orléans without a car or a license, as well as promising to be back as Ladybug for their very important rendezvous on Thursday, and Alya still couldn't stop her prodding about the state she had come home in the early morning. More horribly, the caramel-skinned young journalist had managed to get a juicy scoop and forced her best friend to admit that she had, in fact, gotten very laid last night.

Tikki had managed to create only so much of an alibi.

To make matters even worse, Nino had come over to hang out with her and his fiancée, and he had inconveniently not forgotten that Marinette had stopped by to presumably help Adrien with a tuxedo just before she showed up home in all her 'drunk' glory.

Her actions themselves were not that far-fetched - Marinette had managed to get a job within the Agreste Company, currently run by a handful of Gabriel's best managers until he was ready to return, on top of her high couture classes at a designing school - but her own horrible excuse was highly incompatible with that sequence of events, if Alya's expression was any indication. She was very dangerously close to making a very dangerous connection.

That was when Marinette freaked out and sent her boyfriend the quickest SOS text she had ever typed. Like the faithful partner he was, Adrien barged through the door in all his sunshine glory only a second later, the most innocently wide smile on his face.

"Hey, Marinette! How's the hangover?"

Taking her cue, and carefully employing all the acting skills her heroine persona had forced her to master, Marinette groaned in characteristic fashion, apologized senselessly and went on a tirade about how dumb she was and how she forgot she was supposed to help him and how rude it was of her to work on such an important thing when she was absolutely trashed.

All of it under Alya's watchful gaze.

Adrien laughed, and the genuine mirth behind his façade made Marinette want to strangle him. "Don't worry about it, Marinette. You did an amazing job anyways - no one noticed the pink string."

He took his seat on the couch and gave his attention to Nino and Alya. "You guys should have seen her. I told her I'm leaving town for a photo shoot today and she went oh, I could use a vacation, and booked a hotel online just like that," the blonde chuckled, snapping his fingers to emphasize his point.

Alya screeched. "You knew about this?? Why didn't you stop her? This is crazy! Adrien!"

The young man in question shrugged. "I think it's a great idea, actually. It clears the mind and makes for great inspiration. Plus it works out since it's on my way, so I can drop her off today and pick her up on Thursday."

They all looked surprised at that, particularly Alya, who threw Marinette a look.

"Ah, um, right! I forgot about that!" the superheroine giggled anxiously. "No need for a bus, hehe!"

For the first time, Nino laughed. "Dude, I never thought you'd end up being the crazy party girl. It's awesome that you have it in you!"

Bless his heart.

"Oh, no, no! It doesn't end here!" Alya exclaimed, jumping on her feet and pointing her finger at an increasingly fidgety Marinette. "You're not going anywhere until I know who the mystery guy who's the best sex you've ever had is!"

To everyone's surprise, Adrien leapt from the couch, threw one leg on top of the other in the air, and fell back in his seat with his hand holding his jaw and the widest grin on his face. "Really?" he laughed, slapping his knee. "She said that?"

If looks could kill, Marinette would have become the most brutal criminal in French history. "I... _might_ have said that."

Adrien looked like he was having a fit. "Oh, Mari, come on, tell us!"

She gave him her Ladybug glare. "No."

As if things couldn't get any worse, their apartment door opened to reveal no other than Chloe. Just as overdressed as usual, she sauntered in, carrying what appeared to be a pastry bag.

"Hello, peasants, I brought éclairs."

"Marinette got laid last night."

"Alya!"

The bag fell on the floor with a dull thud. Chloe was halfway through taking her coat off, and her eyes darted from Alya to Marinette, then to Adrien, then back to Marinette, then they stopped on Nino for a moment before she appeared to think it better, and finally completely settled on her formal rival.

"Well shit, I should've brought cake."

The brunette superheroine rolled her eyes so far back, she could almost see her brain. "Ha, ha. Very funny. You know what, that vacation might be my best idea yet. I get to be away from your nosy mouths for a couple of days," she huffed, then looked at Nino. "Not you, honey, I love you."

The DJ grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

She ignored Adrien's pout with no effort whatsoever, and grabbed her backpack. "Ready when you are, Adrien."

Perhaps feeling a little bit remorseful and not noticing that Marinette was not actually upset and was using the commotion as a way to escape faster, Alya lifted her hands in defense and took a few cautious steps towards her roommate. "Hey girl, we didn't mean to make you feel bad or anything. It's just that this is really big news, considering... "she hinted towards her long time crush on Adrien, which, to most people's knowledge, she had finally managed to relinquish.

The sly cat, however, knew his partner all too well and didn’t fall for her tactics for a second. "Yeah, Marinette, we just wanted to know, you know, for his sake. Because if someone said that _I_ was the best sex they'd ever had, I'd probably react like this," he sassed, getting up on his feet and presenting his friends with a very bad rendition of the moonwalk.

Marinette's backpack missed his head by only a few inches. "We're leaving! Now! Now!" she yelled, throwing her backpack at him with every word and forcing him to flee towards the door.

Once they were out, the three remaining friends stared at thin air for quite the length of time. Ultimately, Chloe cleared her throat. “She must have had some pretty bad sex if the best she’s ever had left her feeling so cranky.”

“That’s the thing, she hasn’t had any!” Alya groaned, holding her head in her hands.

“That you know of, Four-Eyes.”

The redhead was about to retort, but abruptly stopped herself – she knew Marinette very well, but the girl could keep secrets if she wanted to. She had only hidden the biggest secret on Earth from her for five years; and if Marinette did not want her to know something… it was never good to prod. She sighed.

“Babe, she’s in uni. That’s uni life. She wasn’t crazy enough to get engaged like we did, so that’s what’s gonna happen,” Nino spoke wisely, hugging his fiancée’s shoulders and kissing her temple. “It’s probably just some normal guy from a bar, nothing to make the news.”

It could have been anyone and they’d make the news if word got out they’d slept with Ladybug, but Alya couldn’t say that.

A box of quality sweets was promptly dropped in their lap. Chloe crossed her arms. “I didn’t bring you éclairs because I have nothing better to do, and this is important. See that apartment over there, third floor with no balcony?” she pointed her finger towards the living room window. “We’re going to be moving Gabriel Agreste there. This is top secret information, and I want you to keep an eye out and call me if something ever happens and no superhero is around.”

Alya and Nino both bit back smiles. “So… you wanted to buy our loyalty with sweets?”

The blonde rolled her eyes. “ _No_ , but Rena Rouge suggested that you might be more willing to cooperate if you were given a small… _token_ of appreciation. Which is dumb, because why would you need that, not to mention I’ve known you since middle school-“

“Thank you, Chloe!” the couple grinned. “You can count on us! Our lips are sealed!”

“Alright,” Chloe acquiesced. “I’ll come by when there’s anything else,” she muttered, her heels echoing on the floor as she put her coat back on and saw herself out. Alya immediately threw her head back in uncontrolled snickers.

“She’s going to murder you if she ever finds out,” Nino pointed out, though he moaned in pleasure when he took a large bite out of a chocolate éclair. “I’ll protect you though, this is some good shit,” he added.

Alya pecked his nose. “Leave some for me when I get back, I have to cover Ladybug’s patrol,” she winked, blowing a raspberry at Trixx as the fox kwami flew out of its hiding space, ready to pounce. Nino surprisingly winked back and jumped to his feet, Wayzz greeting his fellow kwami with a nod of his head. “Well, Ladybug must have left you some of her luck, ‘cause I’m covering for Chat Noir!”

As Rena Rouge and Carapace soared across Paris, Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng were stuck in a particularly irritating traffic jam. “Ugh, this day is unbelievable,” Marinette complained, hanging her head in the passenger’s seat.

Adrien flicked her forehead. “Come on, Buginette, we’re already free. All we have to do is get out of Paris.”

“I’m not talking to you yet.”

He couldn’t help himself and erupted into chuckles. “You love me.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng loves Adrien Agreste!” he shouted with the biggest smile, easily avoiding the hands frantically attempting to silence him. “And Adrien Agreste loves Marinette Dupain-Cheng!”

“And Plagg loves cheese and silence!”

That did it for both of them, as well as Tikki, and three voices broke into cheerful giggles. “Relax, Princess. We can both be ourselves now. Let’s go have fun,” Adrien almost cooed, his green eyes fixating on his girlfriend (as there was no hope for the cars in front of them to actually move). She met his gaze with her own loving look, and they leaned in for a kiss.

Something landed right in front of their car and the two jumped away from each other as if electrocuted. Carapace barely turned to look at them as he spoke. “There was an accident up ahead and the road is off limits, please follow the instructions of the police for alternative routes!”

Adrien’s left eye twitched, and he tried to find something to tell his partner that would salvage at least a little bit of their moment. “H-Hey, at least-“

“Just drive, kitty.”

“On it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. The One With Too Many Hints

_‘Don’t look like a lovestruck kitten’_ , Marinette had said. _‘You were doing work, not having the time of your life’_ , she had pointed out. _‘Don’t be late for the rendezvous tonight’_ , the love of his life had reminded him.

Oh, but Adrien was _so_ completely lovestruck, he had just arrived back home from what was only the most _wonderful_ experience in his lifetime, and he wanted nothing more than to spend _hours_ upon _hours_ laying in his bed and reliving all those amazing memories.

“Hey, you’re back!” Nino’s head popped up from his computer when his roommate walked into their shared apartment. “How was your thing?”

His thing was incredible and it had been thoroughly taken care of- _‘Adrien!’_

Adrien’s dreamy smile contorted into a disgusted grimace in less than a second. “Horrible. No fun at all. Couldn’t wait to get back,” he shook his head rapidly and shivered for emphasis. “I fought with my… colleague…’s pet cat the entire time,” he added, remembering that he never got into any fights with people he was forced to work with and wanting to slap himself.

He _was_ much better than Marinette at lying spontaneously, but his ability to concentrate despite the presence of distractions had always been inferior to hers.

Nino pouted. “Aw, so your little get away was a complete bust?” the DJ asked, his eyes following Adrien as the latter hurried to arrange his belongings – he would never live it down if his lady ever found out that he had literally spent fifteen minutes staring at empty space after he had escorted her to her home, too smitten to turn around and complete the simple action of opening one’s door.

“Ah, not really, I saw Jeanne d’Arc’s statue winking at me, I guess,” Adrien replied absentmindedly, fumbling with a bag of dirty clothes and trying to decide what to change into at the same time.

“Huh, cool,” said Nino. “Dude, you need some help? We gotta head out like, now, and we said we’d hang out with the girls after.”

Adrien’s first instinct was to say no, but his jeans refused to come up (he hoped he wouldn’t have to see his dietician for the next, say, month), and the blonde groaned. “Can you check my email and see if I have anything scheduled for tomorrow?”

“Roger,” Nino mimicked Chat Noir’s two-finger salute and made use of his computer, while Chat Noir himself came to the conclusion that trying to squeeze into a pair of jeans would be pointless, and grabbed some sweatpants instead. He sighed in bliss – that was the amount of room his inner storage of snacks (of which he regretted _none_ ) required at the moment.

“You have a meeting with your dietician scheduled after uni, but the rest of it is clear.”

…Maybe he regretted a _little_ bit.

“Alright, bro, thanks.”

“Uhh…”

Adrien gave his roommate a confused glance, and was petrified to find Nino staring at the screen with a very pensive expression. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to see it, but you have an email from the hotel you stayed at.”

He was _absolutely_ petrified.

“It says you left a… polka dotted sports bra?”

Adrien choked, coughed into his fist to hide it and then stood straight as a pole, as if to bravely face his own demise. _‘You have to give your very best to get out of this one, Agreste.’_

“Y-Yes, it was mine.”

He could think in rhymes but couldn’t save his own life. That was going to be written on his mortuary, Adrien decided.

Nino rightfully cocked his head at him as if he had grown a second head. “Oh. ‘Cause I kinda thought… that you hooked up with some girl and she left it there.”

The model swallowed. “Yes… That would have made more sense.”

The DJ kicked his chair back and jumped to his feet to give Adrien a deep, utterly penetrating stare. “Dude… I trust you, so I’m only gonna ask this once. But you’re my best friend, and I want an honest answer.”

This was it, Adrien realized. He couldn’t hide his relationship or Ladybug’s secret identity anymore – though Alya was notoriously the more perceptive of the two, Nino was not stupid in any way, shape or form, and Adrien had frankly stepped into it himself. He truly hoped Marinette would forgive him, but he was going to come clean.

“Do you… you know… want to be _Chattonne Noire_?” Nino whispered, his big brown eyes shining innocently.

What he asked and what Adrien had expected to be asked were two extremely, monumentally different things, so, in hindsight, the blonde’s reaction might have been a little less than appropriate. His jaw dropped to the floor and a very disturbing noise, between a hiss and a choke, came out of his mouth.

“Dude! I mean dude-ette- or like- I don’t even know man, I just asked ‘cause you’ve been kinda off for a while and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about it and I support you one hundred percent-“

Adrien stared.

There was a special place in Heaven for Nino and everyone like him.

“Stop,” he croaked. “I-I appreciate it, a lot. But um, Chat Noir is here to stay. It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh,” Nino tilted his head. “Okay. So I can still call you dude?”

“…Knock yourself out.”

“Okay, dude! Let’s show your dad his new home, then!”

So they transformed and leapt out of their respective windows, but not before Adrien had to flick Plagg’s ear when the kwami found his owner’s predicament a little bit too hilarious.

What was not hilarious was karma hitting him back in the face, quite literally, when Ladybug answered his characteristically flamboyant greeting by pinching his nose. “I told you not to be late, kitty!” she whispered with a halfhearted glare, but Chat Noir’s ego healed when, behind that red and black mask, Ladybug looked at him like he was her sun and stars. His arm encircled her shoulder in a natural and familiar gesture. “Oh, m’lady, but how could one be punctual when they have your beauty and grace to contemplate?”

She swallowed back her giggle and flicked his zipper bell. “I don’t know, by leaving on time?”

“You make me sick, but at least you guys finally decided to show up,” Queen Bee commented dryly, elegantly landing on the rooftop where they all were supposed to meet. She had spared only one look at her teammates, two of whom were already engaged in a sickening display of affection, and the other two were sickeningly oblivious to their mutual attraction, and Chloe already had a headache. It was the usual.

“She’s sweet as honey as always, but Bee here does have a point,” Rena Rouge ended her liplock with Carapace to saunter over, a knowing smile gracing her features. “Did our favorite superheroes have fun ditching their duties?”

The glare Ladybug sent her way was suggestive to say the least. “You know that’s not what it was. Civilian life gets in the way sometimes.”

“You’re both here now, so it doesn’t matter,” Queen Bee brushed the conversation off. “We have a stray butterfly to take care of.”

As they leapt towards what was their own residential area, at least to four of them, Chat Noir somersaulted next to Queen Bee using his baton, and gave her a wink. Her pun had been awful, but he could appreciate the attempt. “Your puns are the cat’s meow, busy bee. Do you have plans for this evening?”

Queen Bee raised her eyebrow at him. “Weren’t you trying to get in _her_ suit?” she tilted her head backwards, to motion towards Ladybug, who was swinging a few meters behind them. Chat Noir laughed.

Trying? No. Succeeding and enjoying every second of it? Definitely.

“True, my heart is taken. As much as I love honey, I’m not asking you out.”

“Then why do you care what I’m doing this evening?”

He grinned. “I just remembered you have some friends who live nearby, thought you would go hang out with them. I sometimes drop my transformation under one of their balconies when I’m around, so I wanted to ask you not to peek,” Chat Noir said, then winked. “Unless, you know, you want to make the discovery of the century.”

Queen Bee breathed out a laugh. “I doubt you could surprise me,” she sassed, then turned her head away from him, seemingly deep in thought. After swinging her spinning top a few more times, the blonde woman gave him a rare, genuine smile. “I’ll make sure not to look though, Chat Noir.”

He returned the smile warmly, a very pleasant feeling bubbling in his chest at what he had done. He slowed down his hopping and caught an inquisitive glance from Ladybug, to which he responded by blowing her a kiss. “I almost ended up with eight lives tonight,” Chat Noir did confess after shifting closer to his lady, where he was certain none of their teammates would hear.

“Am I going to have to kill you?”

“No, did it myself, actually,” the young man winced, gesturing towards Nino, who was busy showing off his impromptu breakdancing skills on a nearby roof.

All color drained from Ladybug’s face. “Does he know??” she mouthed frantically.

“No! No, no, he doesn’t, but listen Mari, you can’t-“

“Oh, thank God,” Ladybug moaned, holding a hand to her chest and wordlessly flying off ahead without allowing him to finish. His words remained stuck in his throat and he groaned out loud. That woman could be unbelievable!

Chat Noir didn’t get another chance to catch her alone, for they soon landed on the ground and he was faced with a much greater task. Two heavily armed officers were poised at the entrance to the building and they both gave them a nod to signify that Gabriel had been successfully brought inside with no incidents, and they could proceed.

Adrien’s heart was beating erratically – he knew his father was ready, but this was such a big step. One that he thought he wouldn’t get to see, though he had been waiting for it all this time. His dad was being given a chance, and he was _taking_ it.

As the elevator took them to the third floor, Carapace inconspicuously rested his hand on his shoulder in what appeared to be a casual, even bored gesture, and Ladybug softly squeezed his gloved fist. He immediately relaxed, releasing a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, relaxing his jaw and unclenching his fists. Their support was silent due to their circumstances, but it was all he needed.

“Hey, Gabriel!” Rena Rouge called cheerfully once she opened the door and found Gabriel inspecting the tiles on the hallway floor. “I know you’re a picky one but my boy Chat Noir bought and decorated this one for you, so I damn hope you like it!”

They had all dropped any formalities a while ago. The superheroes had begun addressing – and, to Adrien’s initial shock – even bantering with his dad like he was an old friend, and Gabriel did not seem to mind at all. That fact was proven again when the man’s gaze rose and he welcomed them with a smile. “I love it, actually. If I didn’t know any better, I would say my own son designed it.”

Chat Noir couldn’t say if the sudden, piercing emotion in his heart was good or bad.

“He helped,” Ladybug smiled. “He told us he wanted to help you feel at home here. Chat Noir took care of the rest.”

He noticed the raw emotion in his father’s eyes when Ladybug revealed that his son had, in fact, been involved, but Gabriel was quick to compose himself. Instead of suppressing it, however, the redeemed villain redirected it towards the leather-clad superhero.

“Thank you, Chat Noir. And please tell Adrien to come by soon, so I can thank him too.”

Chat Noir was afraid he might choke on his words if he replied.

“That’s the best part, dude!” Carapace grinned. “See that building, second floor? His friends from high school, Alya and Marinette, live in the apartment with the mannequins on the balcony, and Adrien lives right in front of them! You can go thank him yourself right now, if you want!”

Adrien’s blood went cold, for two reasons. One was that his father could _not_ , in fact, go visit him right then, because _he_ was _there_ , in Chat Noir’s suit, and Nino knew that very well, but had spoken too much in his excitement. The second reason was that he was suddenly receiving a very, very negative energy from his father.

Gabriel’s features were frozen. “I… was not aware of that.”

Ladybug tried to smile. “I-Is there a problem? We thought you’d be happy to-“

“I’d like to go back.”

That phrase crushed all of their hearts.

“Wait, what?? Why?” Queen Bee demanded to know. “I’ve known you all my life and you’ve never been better than now. You can’t possibly think you’d be hurting Adrien if you lived near him, can you?”

But that was exactly what Gabriel was thinking, judging from the way his breathing quickened, his knees wobbled and his hands shook. He almost collapsed.

Without thinking, Adrien urged his father to sit and kneeled next to him, grabbing a hold of his hands. Much like he used to do with akuma victims, Chat Noir guided the man’s breathing and spoke reassurances until the feeling went away, and Gabriel was left staring into the superhero’s green eyes with an emotion akin to gratitude and profound regret. “We’re not forcing you to stay here. We’re showing you that it is an option, and if you choose to take it, then we trust you. If you want to go back, we’ll tell the police to take you back. Okay?”

Gabriel slowly nodded. “Okay.”

“Do you want to talk to Adrien about this?” he asked gently.

“…I just want to process it before making my decision. It took me by surprise.”

“We’re so sorry we didn’t tell you,” Ladybug finally spoke again, her gaze shifting between father and son with unconcealed worry. “We thought it would be the good kind of surprise.”

Gabriel looked up at her and ‘surprised’ even himself by chuckling. “No surprise is better.”

Ladybug grinned. “I’ll remember that.”

They accompanied him back to the police and instructed them to take him back to his previous, secured residence; Gabriel had hinted that his decision to go back there was temporary, as he needed to think things through before moving, but they all knew better than to prod. Gabriel would take the necessary steps in his own time, not theirs, and that was perfectly okay.

“Well, wasn’t that something,” Rena Rouge sighed, leaning against a lamppost. “I just wish we knew.”

“You can’t know everything, babe,” Carapace replied, his hand reaching out to pinch her cheek. “Though I know it would be your dream come true.”

To stay in character, Chat Noir stretched, a loud meow posing for a yawn. “He’ll come around, don’t worry,” he said, actually meaning those words. He had learned enough about his father to say that with confidence. “Is anyone else really tired? I’d kill for a cat nap.”

“Sign me up,” said Ladybug, following her partner’s cue – she also wanted to go back to her civilian life and watch a movie or something with her lover and friends; anything but the chilly November weather was good.

“Me too,” Rena Rouge chimed in.

“I’m beat,” followed Carapace.

Queen Bee rolled her eyes and huffed. “Them I can understand,” she pointed at the very innocent looking Rena Rouge and Carapace, “But how can _you two_ be tired after a whole vacation?”

“It was two days that we couldn’t patrol. _Not_ a vacation,” Ladybug grumbled.

“So you want to tell me that not once did you do anything remotely fun while I had to free up my schedule to cover for you?”

A smirk snaked its way on Ladybug’s face. “Actually, I did get to see Jeanne d’Arc’s statue winking at me,” she chirped, and threw her yoyo. “Bug out!”

Carapace tripped.

Chat Noir, not for the first time that day or in the history of ever, thought he was a dead cat. When the turtle superhero threw a wide eyed stare at him, he must have looked like a deer in headlights, but to his utter shock, Nino’s eyes soon fell back into their sockets, he seemed to mutter something to himself, nodded, then shrugged whatever thoughts he had in his head off and jazzed away.

If he managed to survive that night, then cats really did have nine lives, Adrien thought to himself.

* * *

 

“Heyyo!” Nino cheered as he opened the door to Alya and Marinette’s apartment, clad in his usual hoodie and jeans. Right behind him was Adrien, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt and sporting a bloat that thankfully went away once the magical suit was on, otherwise his teammates would have never let him live it down.

The girls seemed they had actually outdone them and donned their pyjamas. Adrien recognized the Chat Noir-themed onesie Marinette was currently wearing from London, and it prompted a warm smile to reach his face.

“Games or movies?” Alya called out, not removing her face from the microwave, where popcorn was doing what it did best. She was apparently a bit anal about it, and declared that she could smell the right time to take it out of the oven without burning it or ending up with underdone popcorn. No one argued.

Especially not Marinette, who had pulled her onesie’s hood on her head to reveal the cutest, softest cat ears. She was doing something on her phone, and Adrien had to force himself to just sit next to her on the couch and not kiss her right then and there, in front of their friends.

“I see what you’re wearing, princess,” he whispered instead.

“I’m too fat for anything else,” Marinette whined, causing his hands to fly to his mouth in an attempt to cover what would have otherwise been full blown laughter. Adrien gestured to his sweatpants and mouthed ‘Same’.

“I’m feeling games tonight,” Nino responded to Alya’s question excitedly, joining her in the kitchen and hugging her from behind under the pretense that the popcorn smelled delicious.

Taking advantage of their roommates’ adorable infatuation for each other, Marinette offered Adrien a concerned look. “Are you okay?” she muttered. Sneaking a quick glance at Nino and Alya just to make sure they were thoroughly occupied, the blonde leaned in to kiss his girlfriend’s forehead. “I’ll be just fine, m’lady.”

“What about you guys? Games are good?”

“Perfect!” they called out at the same time, instinctively putting distance between themselves. Just as the fox and turtle team walked into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in each hand, there was a knock at the door.

Alya lifted an eyebrow. “Come in?”

In other circumstances, certain precautions would have been taken, such as locking one’s door or at least checking to see who was knocking. However, when all inhabitants of an apartment were superheroes, sometimes these precautions, though still important, were discarded.

Inside stepped Chloe, who wore an unusually timid expression. “…Hi.”

She visibly didn’t know what to say, now that she had no official reason to be there other than simply wanting to. They were all so used to her presence, however, that nothing even seemed off to them in the slightest. “Hey, Chlo!” Nino grinned. “You up for game night?”

Her blue eyes widened slightly. From Adrien to Alya and even Marinette, they were all smiling at her invitingly. Gaining some much needed confidence, she took off her coat and shoes, and padded over to their couch, where Adrien and Marinette made room for her to sit between them. “Sure. What are we playing?”

* * *

 

After a few good hours of lighthearted banter, laughter and various games, something had to go wrong.

Nothing seemed like it would, really. They had put the games away and huddled up together to talk about miscellaneous things going on with their lives. Everyone was now listening to Chloe babbling about her fitness routine and how she found that waking up early in the morning to go for a run somehow always managed to clear her head.

“Huh,” Adrien, the only other person in the room who regularly exercised outside of his superhero duties, intervened. “That’s funny. I always feel better working out in the evenings rather than early in the day. Just the thought of waking up at that hour makes me cranky.”

“Oh, it sucked at first,” Chloe admitted. “But I couldn’t sleep most nights anyways, so getting up to run was a good alternative. And it makes me tired enough that I can fall asleep at night without problems now.”

Marinette hummed loudly. “All this talk about running and exercising makes me want to stop being a couch potato,” she sighed, even as she shoved a fistful of popcorn in her mouth.

“You can come running with me if you want,” Chloe blurted her words out without thinking, and her eyes widened upon realizing the offer she had made. She didn’t take it back though, and met Marinette’s different shade of blue eyes without flinching. “Really?” the brunette lit up with joy – not really for the opportunity to wake up at an ungodly hour to do exhausting things, but because it was _Chloe_ who had given her that opportunity.

The blonde shrugged. “Sure.”

“When can we do that?” Marinette chirped.

“Saturday?”

“Saturday! Perfect! I’ll get that cute pink thermos that my mom gave me, and I can wear those yoga pants I finished two months ago and- oh,” she ceased her own tirade, smacking her forehead with the back of her palm. “Alya, can I borrow one of your sports bras? I think I lost mine.”

“Sure, girl,” Alya said, leaning her head towards her fiancé to steal a kiss.

Her face, however, collided with his pointer finger, which had violently flown up to point at Adrien’s suddenly very pale face. Nino’s eyes were nearly flying out of his skull and his mouth had fallen open. “OH! OHHH!” he shouted incoherently at Adrien.

His other hand pointed towards Marinette. He yelled at her too for a second, yelled at Adrien again, and then turned back towards her with a gasp and a downrightly accusatory expression. “OOHH!!”

“Nino, can I talk to you for a second?” Adrien wheezed, grabbing his best friend by the shoulders and forcibly dragging him towards Marinette’s bedroom, the girl scrambling to get on her feet to follow suit. As she reappeared in Nino’s line of vision, he once again began to scream and point at her frantically. “OHH! OHHH! OHHH!”

Completely ignoring Chloe and Alya’s justifiably confused voices reaching out from the other side, Marinette locked her door and Adrien tackled Nino to the bed, his hand covering the DJ’s screaming mouth. Eventually, Nino stopped yelling, and Adrien cautiously retreated his hand. “Yes,” he quietly said in response to his friend’s ballistic inquiry. ”Yes.”

Nino scurried up into a seated position, his features contorting into the most expressive display of shock either of them had ever seen. “You?!” he exclaimed, pointing at Adrien. “And- and _you_??”

“Yes,” Marinette said gently.

“And you’re _Ladybug_?!”

“Yes, Nino, but you can’t tell anyone, okay? No one knows about this!”

Nino’s hands tangled in his hair. His eyes darted between Marinette and Adrien so quickly that he was getting dizzy. “How? When??”

“It happened in London,” Adrien whispered, gesturing for him to keep his voice down.

“IN LONDON?!”

Both of them leapt from their spots and freaked out in response to Nino’s yelling, and Adrien was ready to jump on his best friend and immobilize him again. His roommate got the hint and clammed up.

“This is exactly the reason why we haven’t told anybody,” Adrien resumed his explanation. “We didn’t want you guys making a big deal out of it.”

Nino almost whined. “But this _is_ a big deal, even for me, dude!” He got back up to his feet and darted towards the door. “I have to tell at least Alya!”

“NO!” Marinette and Adrien yelled in unison, using all of their combined strength to shove Nino back into a seated position on Marinette’s bed. “Please, Nino, we just don’t want to deal with having to tell everyone, okay? Just promise you won’t tell?” the brunette implored, gazing at Nino with doe-like blue eyes.

He tried to look away from those, and ended up trapped in Adrien’s equally pleading stare.

_“You guys! The hell are you doing in there?”_

Holding his face with his palms and groaning for a moment, Nino released a long sigh. “Alright.”

His friends instantly relaxed, appearing as though they had just won one of the most difficult battles of their lives, and each of them gave him a grateful hug.

_“Heeey!”_

“Just a minute!” Marinette yelled in reply to the incessant knocking on the door.

“Man, this is unbelievable!” Nino exclaimed, still not completely recovered from his shock, though sworn to secrecy. “I mean, it’s great – that you’re Ladybug and you guys are… – it’s really, really great, dudes,” he said, nodding his head, dazed.

Adrien smirked. “I know it’s great,” he purred, pulling Marinette into his chest and giving her a sweet, slow kiss.

“Doesn’t mean I want to see _that_.”

“I know,” he chuckled. “It just felt weirdly liberating.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. The One With The Balcony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very warm thank you to all of you who left kudos and comments! It really brightens up my day to know that you enjoy this story!

A few uneventful weeks had passed since Nino’s unplanned, but admittedly inevitable revelation concerning his best friends’ amorous life, and the two lovers ultimately reached the conclusion that things were not so bad.

After the initial shock had worn off, the DJ had been nothing short of elated to realize that Adrien and Marinette were not only his trusted friends, but also they were both his teammates and, to top it all off, they were dating. In true characteristic fashion, he kept his promise to remain silent, and even showed his support through little gestures – he would occasionally catch Alya’s attention for unimportant reasons so his friends could steal a goodbye kiss when they parted ways; he never entered Adrien’s bedroom at night anymore; he had even insisted to miss out on an event one night to patrol in their stead, so they could actually go on a real date for once – something that, between Adrien’s university classes, photo shoots, fitness routines and Marinette’s own classes, job, and both of their superhero duties, they seldom had time for.

That was not to say, however, that keeping the monumental secret wasn’t eating at him.

Nino wasn’t usually the one to know things that no one else knew.

He had managed to keep his superhero persona hidden from most people, but he had always had someone he could talk to about it – Alya had figured him out from day one, Ladybug and Chat Noir had always known, and then he had found out that Chat Noir was Adrien himself, so really, it had never felt like that huge of a secret.

But this? This was _epic_. This was tremendous. It was Huge, capital H.

If he had to keep even the smallest other secret, Nino was certain he was going to combust.

He was not the only one getting worn down by the current predicament, however – Adrien and Marinette had thankfully enjoyed a few weeks without near heart attacks, as Nino finding out about their relationship had prompted them to be ten times more careful; the mere memory of having to think of a way to explain to Alya and Chloe why exactly they had practically kidnapped Nino and held him hostage in a locked bedroom was enough to give them a headache.

But the other memories they could look back on made them feel restless. Adrien now understood why Plagg had cackled at him for believing that spending time with his lady, uninterrupted, for 48 hours straight, was in any way a good idea. It made being away from Marinette so much harder – he wanted to walk hand in hand with her again without worrying about who was watching; he wanted them to banter with their kwamis without hiding; he wanted to be able to scream at the top of his lungs that he loved her.

And so did Marinette.

They had pondered finally coming clean multiple times. Nevertheless, the truth couldn’t come out without meddling with their superhero business – in Alya’s eyes, Marinette could be with Adrien, but Ladybug couldn’t be with Chat Noir at the same time. Chloe was too smart to be fooled into thinking that two of her civilian friends, one a blonde with green eyes and the other a blue eyed brunette, hooked up at the same time as her blonde, green-eyed and blue eyed, brunette respective teammates, and it was all a happy coincidence.

And then there was his father.

If they came out in one way, they had to hide in other ways, and that would be even more exhausting. Therefore, Marinette and Adrien decided they were going to wait until they felt prepared to reveal everything. That was the best thing to do.

Crashing their lips together underneath Marinette’s balcony, while still donning their superhero suits, was probably counterintuitive.

Nevertheless, Ladybug’s yoyo was strongly gripping the railing above, keeping her stable in the air, while Chat Noir’s baton extended upwards from the ground to help him meet her on an equal level. The hands they weren’t using to hold on to their tools were desperately clinging to their bodies, Ladybug’s slender arm snaking its way around her partner’s shoulder so her fingers could tangle in his messy hair, pulling him in as she deepened their kiss; Chat Noir hoisted her up by her waist, helping her to wrap her legs around his midsection, and then his hand moved up her back to keep her upright in that position.

“Alya doesn’t come back until three, does she?” the leather-clad superhero murmured suggestively between kisses, a low groan escaping his lips when Ladybug ground her clothed heat against his – Gods, he hated that suit in these situations.

He instinctively licked his lips when his enhanced eyesight caught her pupils dilating, and she was oh so beautiful when she ended their kiss, a lustful gasp escaping her lips as she did so, to give him an apologetic look. “I don’t want to risk it, kitty.”

It was understandable, and arguably the right choice, but Adrien’s ears still fell flat against his head. Patrol was over and, by all means, they should have parted ways; he had a presentation at university in one hour, and Marinette needed to go to work. But after weeks of being extra cautious, something had snapped, and neither seemed to be able to let the other go.

Even if it meant engaging in R-rated behavior in their suits, publicly, only shielded by some trees and the balcony above them.

“We should stop,” Chat Noir gave voice to the rational side of his brain, but after those words were spoken, his mouth proceeded to worship Ladybug’s jawline and neck, relishing her sweet taste and quiet moans of bliss. “Someone could see us,” she agreed, grinding her hips against his erection slowly, deliberately, as if she wanted to feel his every contour with that one touch.

An electrifying shiver went up his spine and, impatiently, Chat Noir’s palm descended to squeeze her bottom, guiding her movements into a rhythm that was more bearable than her teasing, but still agonizingly insufficient. A few stray thoughts advised that taking the risk to enter Marinette’s bedroom and relieve their tension was very likely a better option than humping each other in broad daylight, but in their minds, every kiss was meant to say goodbye, every touch was meant to be the last, and every little moan was quiet enough to allow for another – after all, it was Nino’s designated time to work on remixes.

* * *

 

The moment the dubstep reached Alya’s ears, she wanted to pull at her hair.

She loved Nino to death and he was really talented at what he did and she knew that their building only allowed noise during the 10 am – 2 pm interval, but loud club music was the last thing she needed after a failed day. Between her journalism classes and failing to get an internship after applying to three different newspapers by now, her Ladyblog had also taken a turn for the worse – apparently, when being a superhero with real life duties and taxes to pay, one lost some motivation to document what their own teammates did all the time.

However, her favorite professor had reminded her that her blog had really been one of the key reasons why Alya’s university application had stood out the most, as not many high school students could boast about their blog hosting the source material for national news outlets, and maybe she should spend some time bringing it back to its former glory if she wanted to get a good deal somewhere.

Therefore, Alya, being privy to the information that her best friend and her favorite bad luck charm were patrolling during the midday window, had decided to skip her last course and follow them around town, hoping to at least catch a glimpse of them bantering. She refused to personally ask Marinette for an interview or anything of the sort – she had not been chosen to become a superhero so she could use her privileges in her civilian life; if she was going to succeed, it was going to be through her own hard work.

Disappointingly, though, it appeared that the redhead had only managed to catch up to them by the end of their patrol, after which they both sprinted away; she had no hope of catching up in her normal, not-powered-up state. Trixx had admittedly cheered her up a little bit, but a bad day was a bad day, and Alya decided that going home to cuddle with her fiancé and maybe watch a funny sitcom was what she needed.

Said fiancé appeared to be busy with something she was not in the mood for, however, if the dropping beat that welcomed her once she finished climbing the stairs was any indication, and Alya sighed, shaking her head with a smile at the door leading to her lover’s residence (six years going strong, and she still loved the doofus) and entering her own.

Her plan was simple: change into her pyjamas, grab some ice cream from the freezer, snuggle up with some blankets and sign into her Netflix account.

And that was exactly what Alya did, stealing a spoonful of rum and raisin ice cream – which people could make faces at all they wanted, but her mama had always had it in the house and the superheroine was hell bent on continuing that particular tradition – as she connected her laptop to the TV and started browsing through shows.

Then she heard something.

It was a muffled noise, but she could recognize it as a female voice; Alya cocked her head to focus, trying to catch it again, but she was rewarded with nothing, so she shrugged. Her neighbors upstairs were probably fighting about something again – she knew very well that Marinette wasn’t home, since her midday patrols were always scheduled to end right before her work shift.

Then it came again, much louder, and Alya’s eyes widened – she was no virgin and she could damn well recognize a sexual noise when she heard it. Her neighbors had been loud before during their rare hate sex moments, so that was not why Alya’s jaw dropped. It was because she was fairly certain the sound had come from the other room.

_“Don’t scream, m’lady, or the cat is going to have to get your tongue.”_

Holy.

Fucking.

Shit.

The young journalist tripped on her own feet in her haste to rush to Marinette’s bedroom, nearly falling on her face in the process, and glued her ear to the door, eyes wide as saucers.

_“I-I really need to go…”_ the female voice, unmistakably Marinette’s voice, whimpered, and Alya was aware she should know better, but this was something she needed to see with her own pair of eyes, so she peeked through the keyhole.

Only to see nothing.

“The freaking little…,” Alya muttered under her breath, ignoring Trixx’s expression, which seemed to ask if she really wanted to do what she was about to do, because the twenty year old was absolutely, one hundred percent sure that she had never wanted to do something more. She quietly opened the door and slipped inside to hear their conversation better.

_“Marinette, I need to see you tonight or I’m going to go insane.”_

That was, without the slightest shadow of a doubt, Chat Noir. Alya’s face contorted into pure shock. That was the mystery guy she was hooking up with?? And he had called her by her real name?!

_“I’ll come over. I’ll tell Alya I have to do laundry. Our washing machine needs to get fixed anyway.”_

_“Is that my new nickname? I preferred mystery guy, made me sound sexier.”_

_“Just shut up and go to school, Adrien.”_

Alya’s hands flew to cover her mouth at the same time as a shrill scream nearly came out; she held it inside however, until she scampered outside her friend’s bedroom and closed the door shut, after which she proceeded to pace around the apartment with her hands on her head, mouth agape and choked noises occasionally emerging from it, whenever her mind made a new connection to confirm the reality that had just crashed upon her.

“Breathe, Alya,” Trixx instructed friendly, flying by her owner’s side.

“Breathe?!” Alya whisper-yelled. “This is no time to breathe! This is unbelievable! _Unbelievable_! They’re… And Adrien is…” she fell against the kitchen table, gazing into space. “Oh, my God.”

A few seconds later, Nino’s door crashed against the wall.

“Turn the music down right now!” Alya yelled as she ran inside, making a beeline for her fiancé and yanking his large headphones off; Nino’s expression shifted from a very relaxed, I’m-feeling-this-music vibe, to utterly panicked. “W-What’s going on?” he questioned, pausing the remix he was currently working on and, not unjustifiably, assuming that his fiancée was angry with him for some reason – never a pretty sight.

Instead, she grabbed his hands and held them to her chest. “Oh, Nino, I have such a problem!”

Hearing the word “I” in the same sentence as the word “problem” was always better than hearing “you”, but Nino was careful not to let her notice his sigh of relief. Alya relinquished his hands, grabbed at her hair again, then patted the air as if to assure herself that everything was alright. “I have _got_ to tell you something.”

She looked so anxious that Nino’s relief actually morphed into concern. “What is it, babe?”

“God, Nino, this is so huge, but you _have_ to promise me you won’t tell anyone-“

“Oh, no, no, no!” He blurted out, shocking her and stumbling backwards to create distance between them. “I don’t wanna know!”

Alya gasped, darting forward to chase him as he avoided her by hiding behind various pieces of furniture. “What?? Yes, you want to know! Trust me, this is _unbelievable_ -“

“I don’t care!” Nino cried, dashing behind the couch when Alya tried to catch him in front of it. “Look, babe, I’m tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets and can’t tell anyone!”

“Secrets?” Alya wheezed. “You know secrets?? What are they?”

“You’re not supposed to be gossiping! You made a pact!”

The redhead almost screeched. “That was in tenth grade! And even then I couldn’t have kept this one in! I came home and-“

“La, la, la, la, la!” Nino yelled, covering his ears and making a run for his computer; he turned the music back on and started headbanging to make his point. “I can’t hear you over the sound of this _beat_!”

Alya could have done many things – she could have smacked him over the head. She could have transformed right there and thrown him out the window. Better yet, considering his state, her beloved wouldn’t have even noticed it if she created an illusion to show all his equipment soaked and destroyed beyond repair.

…Okay, she was not _that_ cruel.

Nevertheless, Alya did none of those things. She just crossed her arms and turned on her heels. She could play a different game.

Everyone was bound to come back home at some point tonight, after all.

* * *

 

Marinette was used to expecting the unexpected – her life required it – but it would be an understatement to say that, on the list of people she could predict herself bumping into when leaving her workplace, Gabriel Agreste’s name was written at the very bottom, in very small letters.

“O-Oh, I’m so sorry, Ga- err, Mr. Agreste,” she stammered, her mind too preoccupied to sort out all the possible reasons why Gabriel would be there, unaccompanied by the police, climbing the steps to his enterprise casually as if dozens of journalists weren’t screaming his name from the bottom of the stairs. “It’s so good to see you,” Marinette smiled as she spoke her civilian Ladybug slang for the sentence _‘What the hell are you doing here?’_

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, was it?” Gabriel replied to her inquiry with a question, his hands leaving her shoulders when he was certain she was not going to fall. It struck her that his mannerism was precisely similar to Adrien’s – her boyfriend had caught her tripping enough times when they were classmates for her to know.

“Yes, sir.”

“You really have grown. I remembered you as Adrien’s shy classmate with pigtails and a talent for designing,” he smiled, his eyes catching the nametag attached to her black cotton jacket. “I hear I wasn’t wrong for offering you a position.”

Her job as an assistant really wasn’t anything exciting yet, as all she really could do was ensure that details were handled with care, bring coffee to her superiors here and there and occasionally offer input for certain designs; her custom work as Adrien’s unofficial stylist during his photo shoots was more challenging, but Marinette knew better than to complain. That was how it started for everyone, and she was immensely fortunate to be where she was and to have a paid job in the field she desired.

Gabriel’s ever growing openness and kindness warmed her heart. “I won’t let you regret it, sir,” she grinned. “Is it safe to say that you are finally coming back?”

She was Ladybug. She had to get answers somehow.

“Perhaps, soon. I’m here to talk to my director for now. Chat Noir was kind enough to arrange a meeting without any escorts. Apparently this should show you all that I can be trusted,” he explained, subtly gesturing towards the army of paparazzi who had already made their way there and were barely contained by the building’s bodyguards.

Ah. Of course her kitty had his paws in this.

She could see the logic behind it, however, and trusted Adrien more than anything. “Well, you caught me when I was tripping down the stairs. I already trust you more than I trust myself, sir,” Marinette tried to encourage him with a giggle; in the past, she would have kicked herself for daring to say something like that to this particular man, but she had grown to know him like a close friend in the past two years.

It did not surprise her when the corner of his lips twitched into a smile.

Marinette opened her mouth to say her goodbyes, starting to walk past him, but Gabriel turned towards her. “You live next to Adrien, correct?”

She only looked startled for a second. “Yes, that’s right.”

“Are the two of you still close?”

Marinette swallowed, the memories from earlier in the day creating a very inappropriate mental image of exactly how close they were. _‘Bad Marinette! Bad!’_

“Y-Yes, we are.”

“Ah, that’s good to hear,” he nodded to himself. “I’m sure we’ll be good neighbors.”

Gabriel then proceeded to walk away, leaving her to fend off for herself when she was bombarded with flashing cameras and journalists from various news outlets fighting to interview her, asking twenty questions per second.

Marinette, however, did not mind. She answered every question with a warm, bubbly smile – Adrien must be so happy.

 

* * *

 

The brunette came home to the overwhelmingly powerful smell of baked camembert, a wide array of cheeses littering the dining table, Chloe laying down on the couch with a fan, and a very self-satisfied looking Alya.

“The hell is this,” Marinette deadpanned.

“Madness,” moaned Chloe.

A glass of red wine was suddenly shoved under her nose.

“A craving,” Alya shrugged, taking a sip from her own glass. “And, you know, to celebrate Adrien’s dad finally coming back to planet Earth,” she winked at her friend. “Miss Honeybee came to tell us he actually is moving in next door after all.”

“And we’re celebrating that with an ungodly amount of stinky cheese,” Marinette kept her sarcastic tone, wrinkling her nose and trying to wave some clean air in her face as Alya danced towards the oven and opened it to grab a tray of melty, smelly camembert.

“Oh, it’s not ungodly at all. There’s you, me, Chloe and I think the boys will be here soon,” the redhead sang, casually blowing the fumes towards the door. All the windows were shut and all the doors in their house were open – people could probably feel the stench up to the sixth floor.

Marinette only caught Tikki’s alarmed eyes when it was too late.

Their door flew open, and an inhuman noise graced their ears before no other than Adrien sprawled down on their floor, seemingly struggling to hold something against his chest.

Another animalistic sound could be heard from him, and the man wrestled himself some more before his panicked green eyes met Marinette’s downright icy stare. She was not directing it at him though – the psychotic kwami fighting to break free from his fists reluctantly stopped squirming.

“...Arr,” Adrien pathetically tried to imitate Plagg’s deranged howling, kwami-filled hand darting towards his inner pocket in what the blonde hoped to be an inconspicuous way and, to put the cherry on the cake, he smiled and winked up at the two girls who were staring at him.

Marinette’s palm promptly met her face with a shrill slapping noise.

Alya beamed. “Hey, Adrien! Red or white wine?”

A quick, confused glance was shared between the two secret lovers, but they both soon came to the conclusion that blessings such as that one only came once every thousand years. “Uh, white, please?”

Chloe, who had not really paid much attention in favor of focusing on her breathing to prevent herself from gagging, deemed it fit to mumble something under her breath, which had to do with Adrien’s perpetual lack of knowledge when it came to wine choices.

That was also when Nino decided to make his appearance. His greeting died in his throat, his face scrunched up in disgust at the smell, then he cocked his head at Adrien’s still very horizontal position, after which he graciously coughed into his fist. “Windows?” he eloquently suggested.

“Windows!” Chloe, Marinette and Adrien agreed in unison.

They made quick, passionate work of getting rid of the stench, and Adrien gallantly insisted to take care of the table arrangements; he grabbed a fistful of cheese pieces from the platter, which Plagg inhaled immediately, but the kwami insistently pointed towards the large roll of baked camembert with an audible whine.

Marinette promptly walked over, opened her purse and brutally shoved Plagg in it. She then casually left it on the counter – she knew what Tikki was capable of, and she didn’t want to see it.

Alya pretended not to see the exchange and raised her glass.

“To our soon-to-be neighbor!” she cheered, giving Adrien a genuine, albeit slick smile. “We’re so happy for you, Adrien.”

They all raised their glasses happily, but not even the sun could rival the utter joy on the blonde’s face; he had expected his father to jump on the opportunity to go back to work, even though no one had prodded Gabriel about moving in the past weeks; however, the phone call he had received from his father after classes, telling him that he had made up his mind about the new apartment and that he would inform the superheroes that he desired to relocate as soon as they were available, had made him feel like a child on Christmas Eve.

Chat Noir had soon made an appearance and conversed with Gabriel before the latter made his way to his enterprise, and Adrien had dialed up all his teammates in his excitement to spread the wonderful news; Ladybug had been the only one unavailable due to her work shift, but if Marinette’s beaming face being plastered all over television screens spoke for anything, Adrien was certain that his father had told her himself.

The model caught his girlfriend’s soft, loving gaze, and even as he returned it with all the tenderness he could muster without appearing obviously enamored to his friends, his knees turned into jelly. It had been a while, but sometimes it still baffled him that Marinette, Ladybug, the love of his life loved him back with such intensity.

She gave his knee a subtle, supportive squeeze as they took their seats at the table, and dinner, though cheesy, was wonderful. He even took mercy on Plagg and sneaked a camembert-dipped cracker in Marinette’s purse when no one was looking.

“Alright, I have to go,” Chloe clapped her hands together, getting up from her chair. “Gabriel isn’t moving in by himself, I gotta meet up with Rena Rouge to escort him.”

Adrien smiled sadly. They had decided that, since his father was going to be making an appearance in broad daylight this time, they should make a smaller team to accompany him so as to draw as little attention as possible. Adrien wanted nothing more than to insist on being part of it, but Gabriel had confessed that he would prefer to come to terms on being so close to his son in his own time, and it had felt wrong to impose his presence on the man, even if he was oblivious to his identity behind Chat Noir’s mask. The task had thus fallen onto Queen Bee and Rena Rouge’s shoulders.

However, Adrien decided not to pout too much; maybe he was not going to see his dad for a while, but being relieved of his superhero duties for the day would allow him to tend to another unfinished business that desperately required his attention.

As Chloe made her leave, he shared a meaningful glance with Marinette.

“Hey, guys, you mind if I go over to your place to do some laundry? Our washing machine needs to get fixed and I’m running out of clean clothes,” the brunette said innocently.

Alya took a sip from her glass of wine and Nino put on his most convincing guiltless grin.

“Oh, sure!” Adrien replied, his jade eyes tracing her silhouette maybe a bit too hungrily as she rushed to grab her laundry basket. “I’ll come with you! To, um, show you how to use it.”

“That’s so nice of you! We’ll be back in a minute, guys!”

The door closed shut. Nino and Alya were left sitting next to each other in complete silence.

“Babe? Don’t you need to meet up with Chloe?” the DJ finally asked, tugging at his collar nervously.

She hummed, swirling the wine in her glass and glancing at her fiancé from the corner of her eyes. Messing with her friends had admittedly been hilarious, but Alya had kept the secret to herself for way too many hours and it was messing with her sanity, especially since she knew _exactly_ what type of laundry her friends were doing next door. She had to make Nino listen to her somehow or she was going to go mad, even if it meant dealing with a particularly irate Queen Bee.

 “Hey, Nino? Remember the secret I told you about?”

The reaction was instantaneous.

“NO! La, la, la, la-!”

She painlessly smacked the back of his neck and the yelling stopped.

“I _know_ you don’t want to hear it,” she said impatiently. “But if you were to find out on your _own_ , then it would be okay and we could talk about it, right?”

Nino pondered his fiancé’s words. Eventually, he gave a reluctant nod. “Yes, ‘cause then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. Yeah.”

“Okay, that’s good to know” Alya smiled, sauntering over to the counter to dip a cracker in some leftover camembert. She munched on it thoughtfully and cleared her throat.

“Hey, babe? Would you mind going to Adrien’s bedroom and bringing me the external battery he borrowed from me?

Nino spat his wine back into his glass. “N-N-Now? R-Right now?”

Alya’s eyes narrowed, following every sign of his body language. “Yeah. Now.”

In the midst of his struggle to quickly find a good reason not to go, something clicked in Nino’s head and he mirrored Alya’s calculating stare.

“Do you know something?”

“Do _you_ know something?”

Nino tilted his head, still extremely cautious. “I might know something.”

“I might know something too.”

“What’s the thing you know?”

The redhead crossed her arms. “Oh, no, I can’t tell you until you tell me what you know.”

Nino responded to her challenge with a nervous shrug. “I can’t tell you what I know.”

“Well, then, I can’t tell you what I know.”

“Okay, fine.”

“Fine.”

They continued to stare each other down, both of them waiting to see if the other was going to crack, but also knowing each other well enough to realize it was unlikely. The more he studied Alya, however, the less Nino was inclined to believe she might _know_. Something as monumental as that? She couldn’t have kept it to herself, even if she had to tie him up to get him to listen to her.

He broke into chuckles and sent his fiancé a very smug look. “You _don’t know_.”

That, apparently, tipped her right over her breaking point. Alya growled and began stomping towards the door, a deadly expression on her face.

“Really?! How about _I_ go over there, and _I_ go into Adrien’s – or should I say _Chat Noir’s_ \- bedroom, and see if the thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!”

Nino wheezed, his mouth falling open. “You _know_!”

“And _you_ know!” Alya pointed a murderous finger at him.

“Yeah, I know!!” Nino yelled, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Adrien and Marinette… Chat Noir and Ladybug, ” the redhead gasped, marveling at the fact itself for the hundredth time that day, especially now that she could finally say it aloud to someone other than her kwami (whom she owed a fortune’s worth of cookies as payment for divulging Chat Noir’s kwami’s weakness). “Oh, this is unbelievable! How long have you known?!”

“Too long!” Nino cried, latching onto Alya’s shoulders. “Oh, my God, Alya! I’ve been dying to talk to someone about this for so long!” he kissed her forehead, cheeks and lips feverishly. “Now listen, babe, I don’t know what type of crazy revenge shit you were trying to pull with all this, but you can’t let anyone else find out. They’re really _weird_ about it-“

“Alya!” Trixx interrupted, flying up between their faces with a sense of urgency. “Queen Bee has been trying to call you, and I love you, but I’m going to have to double the cookie order if I have to hear one more of her voice messages ringing in my head.”

Alya hissed out an exasperated sigh; she called on her transformation angrily, aware that she was going to have to postpone this incredibly overdue conversation even more – she loved her kwami too much to let him suffer Chloe’s wrath.

Nino reached the same conclusion, and simply placed his pointer finger against her lips, expressing the prayer that she say nothing about her discovery to anyone else. Though exasperated beyond belief, Alya eventually nodded.

She was going to respect their wishes and stay silent, but a truck of payback was on its way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to finish the last two chapters today, but Papa Garou happened and I am completely out of commission and full on fangirl mode. As such, the next two chapters will come soon after New Year's - hope you have a lovely time and a great upcoming 2019!

**Author's Note:**

> What I had in mind when I started writing this was something closer to a crack fic. It is now not a crack fic, but much more comedy is on the way. You don't need to have seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S. to understand the story at all, but I think that watching their reactions to Monica and Chandler's relationship would make the mental images more hilarious when reading this. I'll update every few days, and comments are always welcome! Last but not least, Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating <3


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